Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind

Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

— Robbie Burns, “Address to a Haggis”

Get your Haggis right here!
Chopped heart and lungs
Boiled in a wee
sheep’s stomach!
Tastes as good as it sounds.

— Groundskeeper Willie, “Lisa the Beauty Queen’”

(This column from the Globe will only be around for a week, so check it out while you can.)

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